i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
