don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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