Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
