omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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