I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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