After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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