I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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