4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
