We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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