I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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