I want to walk on stilts...naked
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
