Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
