mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
