Kiss
Puke
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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