Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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