just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
