i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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