This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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