tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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