hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
