VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
