The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize