She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You smell like stripper and shame
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
