I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
