Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
