Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
