we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
