This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
