She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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