I'm pants shitting drunk right now
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
