is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
