I'm lost and stupid without you.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize