I'm really into asian looking animals
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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