And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
