Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Panties = found
Randomize
