You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have fence marks all over my body
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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