We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
