Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
