i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
