What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
