Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
