Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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