You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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