I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
