That's when you crack a 10am beer
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
