Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
