Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
