no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
