my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am spending my child support on dildos
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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