apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
