Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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