She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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