it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
