After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
