i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
babies were throwing up all over the place
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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