i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she looked like the before picture.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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